(Break out?) [07 Oct 2004|07:05pm] It has been a most unfortunate few months. Bodric broke in to my cell in April and stole my diary, and upon reading it became worried I had portrayed him in a poor light. Well that was not his exact terminology but you get the idea. I of course poo-poo this and pointed out he, Bodric, does not look good in any light where as I do. I then proceeded to demonstrate my point. I fear I confused him. And living in fear of bad light he hid my diary in a number of surprisingly inventive places and it is only now I have claimed it back and look...I am still in prison. There have of course been numerous lackluster plots by those halfwits at FTAO but I still have failed to escape. In fact I have suffered broken limbs (falling off broomsticks onto battlements is painful you know) and bad hair days (being hidden in a large potato sack can cause split hairs) due to their defunct plans. Poor Draco. My beloved blonde son, a boy after my own heart, keeps owling me to say his mother is buying him the wrong conditioner. I ask myself what is the world coming to? Well I must go, time for Bodric's bath...urgh...

(Break out?) Yes...I'm still alive....just [19 Feb 2004|01:37pm] Just a quick note to all the Death Eaters to let them know I am still alive. Just... Bloody Bodric has been haring down corridors after me waving his sponge asking if I'll was his back for him. Urgh, I did not get confined to prison to be somebody's Bitch...I'm Voldemort's bitch...surely thats enough. Anyway that *mans* back is far to hairy, you can barely see skin and if he thinks I am going to go anywhere near him without marigolds he has got another thing coming. Being trapped in prison has opened my eyes to how much I miss Draco. My mini me. I hope he has taken to wearing furs. It has also made me realise how much I do not miss my wife, brainless blonde that she is. Bloody stereotypical blonde, nice to look at, no intellect. Its lucky that I am so wonderfully clever (and beautiful). In other news escape plots be damned. You people are hopeless!!!!!!! Lucius.

(Break out?) Day...I give up.... [25 Sep 2003|10:35pm] Since solitary confinement I have lost count of the days...they all seem to be merging into one another anyway. One useless escape plot after another. Yesterday, I think, another Death Eater became incarcerated due to a fluffed escape plot. Bruce Haggle, a DE in training, had donned an invisibility cloak, broken into the prison and knocked out the guards to by wing. All going swimmingly until his cloak became caught on a nail as he swiftly walked past a cell. He was yanked backwards and winded. As he lay sprawled and struggling on the floor his leg became uncovered. The guards had woken up by this point and seeing the leg captured Haggle...the stupid boy... Who will help me escape....

(Break out?) Day...I don't give a..... [30 Aug 2003|12:26pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | Its a small world......TORTURE!!!! ] I hate it in here, no nice velvet robes, no wands...no women...no house elves to play football with and now even my journal and window are being taken away from me. I'm going to be put in solitary confinement for thumping Bodric in the head. Its not like I meant to do it but he made a grab for me in the showers. Urgh. Anyway I don't see why I should be locked up with in a small broom closet when it was his fault and my hand has now swollen to the size of a small country...isn't that punishment enough for a handsome man like me??? ....NO...I....am...still...writ........

(Break out?) Day 67...I think... [25 Aug 2003|08:11pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Breakout - Foo Fighters ] Not much to document really except Bodric got quite excited today. I was moaning at the guard, as is my general activity due to there being little else to do, about the roughness of fabric used to make prisoner clothing...more like rags really, and do you know what that jacked up little wannabe said did. He threatened me with his wand. Of course I told him in no uncertain terms what he could do with his wand and where exactly he could stick it. Bodric began foaming at the mouth and appeared most disappointed when the guard did not oblige me. Note to one's self: Reattach rope to soap as some slimy little criminal has snapped it.

(3 inmates | Break out?) Day 64 [21 Aug 2003|07:48pm] [ mood | trapped ] [ music | I want to break free - Queen ] Its over two months since perfect Potter landed me in jail. I would have started writing in my journal sooner but Draco, the stupid boy, kept forgetting to send me a quill and ink. Of course the guards had to cast an anti-mutilation spell on the quill so i could not relieve the monotony with a bit of self mutilation, saying that I do not really think I would want to damage these good looks. Even more depressing is since the latest attempted jail break failure by Fladmire De'vant the Dark Lord has not sent anymore morons to 'rescue me'. In some ways their stupidity demoralised me, yet it did give me someting to laugh at. However, most of the fools get caught and placed in the cells next to me. The men generally aren't too bad, but the women, such as Terra Wandshaft seem to think my name is Luscious and swoon whenever I am walking by. They are then dragged off to the hospital wing...there's an idea maybe I should swoon at my own reflection... Or not! that would leave me dangerously exposed to Bodric the Beastly (as he's known in here). He's been sniffing about my cell recently, asking if I'd like to play with his wand... Urgh, here comes that cheery little guard again. He thinks it's his job to bring sunshine into our bleak little hearts by playing damned Muggle music. I must go and rattle my cup against the bars in protest, Hades how I wish the dementors were here.... Lucius Malfoy...

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